Wedding Etiquette
The numerous rules and standards of wedding etiquette can be worrisome
for couples planning their nuptials. Here are some frequently asked etiquette
questions.
Who should host an engagement party?
Traditionally, this is hosted by the bride's parents,
but in recent years this has opened up. Now, just about any relative on
either side can host the party, as well as friends of the bride and groom.
The hosts should be thanked with a small gift, flowers or perhaps a dinner
invitation.
I understand I should purchase gifts for my attendants.
What is appropriate?
Options would include: pearl earrings, a
jewellery box, crystal vase, small silver clock or a nice pen & pencil
set etc.
My father is no longer with us. How can I still
include him in the ceremony?
A single rose on the alter, with an explanation
in the program would be fitting. You could include a meaningful verse
or quotation or a personal note, as well. At the reception you might want
to dedicate a special song to him.
I'm having trouble narrowing down my list of attendants.
Is seven too many?
Yes, seven is probably stretching etiquette just
a bit. Select your top four and ask them first. If one or more are unable
to fill the role, then go down your list.
Is it proper to send invitations to the Caterers,
photographers, disc jockeys etc.?
No, it's generally not necessary and isn't
expected.
Should I mention where we are registered in our
invitation? Any mention of registries, gifts,
etc., is considered improper within an invitation.
My co-workers (twenty of them) are throwing a
shower for me. Am I obligated to invite them all to the wedding and reception?
No, you need not. If it's a "work"
shower, thrown with coworkers only, and not your main shower, you do not
need to invite everyone.
How long does the bride have to send 'thank you'
notes?
In times past 3-4 months was acceptable, but in our
hurry-up society 4-6 weeks is more appropriate. Also, etiquette indicates
all 'thank you's' should be hand written, on nice note paper.
Our pastor has no fee, but said we could make
a donation towards the church fund. How much should we donate?
First of all, tipping the officiant is traditional
and in good taste. However, the amount varies throughout the world. Have
the best man give the money to the officiant, explaining that some is
custodial and some is for his/her kindness.
I have both a father and step-father. How do I
handle the father/daughter dance at the reception?
They could each get a full dance with you. If you
select this option, dance with man you feel closest to first. On the other
hand, if there's any family friction (or if this will cause friction)
you could omit this dance from the event.
Should meal choices be listed on response cards
or should we just select one meal?
Both are acceptable. As a side note, chicken
is usually the most popular choice.
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