Wedding or Marriage Quotations
Marriage n. 1 the
legal or religious union of a man or a woman.
Please don't let any of these quotes put you off getting married, they
are just for a laugh
"Wife and servant are the same, but only differ in the name."
Lady Chudleigh, 1703.
"In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar—a practice
which is still continued."
Helen Rowland, author of Reflections of a Bachelor
Girl
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
Anonymous
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism
of one, go ahead, get married."
Katharine Hepburn
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Rita Rudner
"Marriage is an institution. I'm not ready for an institution."
Mae West
"A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the
right person at the right time. The rest is trust".
Nanette Newman
"A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for
it really know what goes in it".
Anonymous
"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband".
Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too
short".
Andre Maurois
"A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job
after".
Gloria Steinem
"Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then
goes into it, deserves all the consequences."
Isadora Duncan
"I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married."
Queen Elizabeth I
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person."
Mignon McLaughlin
"If a man stands alone in the forest, and there are no women around
to hear him speak, is he still WRONG?"
Unknown
"All perfect marriages are made up of couples who accept the fact
that they have an imperfect marriage."
Unknown
"Do not marry a person that you know you can live with, only marry
someone that you cannot live without."
Unknown
"Marriages are made in heaven. But, remember, so are thunder and
lightning."
Unknown
"The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a
woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders."
Linda Festa
"The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to
forget it once."
Unknown
"Some people are so determined to find blissful happiness that they
overlook a lifetime of contentment."
Unknown
What's the difference between a vision and a sight?
When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision and when
she wakes up in the morning she's a sight.
Unknown
Kids views on Marriage
What's the proper age to get married?
"Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don't
have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other
in your bedroom."
When is it OK to kiss someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have
enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want
to have videos of the wedding" (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing
if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try
it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours" (Kally, 9)
Is it better to be single or married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not
for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that
stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble" (Kenny,
7)
What is falling in love like?
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for
your life" (Roger, 9)
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride
changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother.
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time"(Christine,
9)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have
been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding
me" (Bobby, 8)
Some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy
stores" (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get
attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love" (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something
she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me" (Bart, 9)
How can you tell if 2 people in a restaurant are in love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's
how you can tell if he's in love" (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get
cold. Other people care more about the food" (Brad, 8)
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and then it was too late."
And this is my personal favourite...
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
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