Invitations
Correspondence Tips & Etiquette
When we use the written word to announce a special occasion, express
thanks or just keep in touch, it is important to pay attention to the
details so that our message is conveyed the way we intended.
When writing personal notes and letters (including email) keep these tips
in mind.
When your note is opened, the first thing the recipient notices is not
what you wrote, but the paper it was written on. Use paper or Stationery
that is unique to you and expresses your personality with it. Maybe it
has a soft color, interesting texture or a pretty border, but if you can,
avoid plain white paper.
Natural language is easier to read and sounds friendlier. Example: "I
do not know" use instead "I don’t know". Inserting
the name of the person you are writing gives your note a touch of familiarity
and affection. People like you to use their names. (TIP: To get good service
from a bridal store, etc., call the salesperson by her name a few times.)
Decide what you want to say and then write it as quickly as possible.
That way it will sound natural, sincere and unscripted – like you
are really talking to your friend. To make your personal letter feel more
personal, resist the temptation of using your word processor and write
your notes by hand.
Share news and information that would be interesting to the reader. Your
girlfriend would be interested in hearing about the awesome pair of heels
that coordinates with your wedding gown, but your male co-worker couldn't
care less.
Respond to questions previously asked and display curiosity in your friend’s
activities and interests. Include information you would be happy to have
others see, even if your note is not intended for others. The written
word whether a quick email or a lengthy letter have a way of resurfacing
and eventually reaching the hands of others. This means absolutely no
unattractive remarks about others (or yourself).
Don’t end a letter by saying “Well, I guess you’ve
read enough of this.” Or “You must be bored to tears”.
If you really think what you wrote was boring, rip it up and start over!
A few of my favorite ways to close a personal letter or note include:
sincerely, affectionately, warm (or warmest) regards, kind (or kindest)
regards, fondly, love, thinking of you, cordially and much love. If you
couldn’t resist typing your letter, at least sign your name by hand.
I like to use a pen ink in blue or some other color other than black –
just for that final touch. Thank-you Notes
The two most important aspects of a thank-you note is that it be sincere
and written promptly. Do it right away after the gift etc. was received
so that you don’t put it off and possibly forget about officially
thanking them - making the person you want to thank feel like you are
ungrateful.
Use expressions most natural to you and write as enthusiastically as
though you were talking. Thank you notes for a gift of money should indicate
the exact amount given and how the money will be used. "Your £50
is going into our sofa fund." Sometimes it’s difficult to write
a thank you note for a gift that is ugly or unwanted. Some phrases you
could use in this awkward situation include:
"You have the most original ideas. ______ has
become a real conversation piece in our house. ______ is simply fascinating,
I’ve never seen anything like it."
The Envelope
The most elegant place for the return address is centered on the back
flap of the envelope. Hand addressing the envelope makes it more personal
for the receiver – like you took extra time out of your day to express
your gratitude. In my opinion, the use of Mr., Mrs., etc. is usually over
the top for casual correspondence – not to mention old fashioned.
Of course the use of those titles is still the preferred way to address
wedding invitations and other formal letters.
In closing, a part of reputation is built on your correspondence or lack
there of. Now get out your stationery and make an impression they can’t
forget!
First Impressions
Every bride knows her guests first impression of her wedding comes from
the invitation. Invitations not only set the tone for the event but also
convey the couples personalities. While searching through hundreds of
invitation styles, brides may find themselves being overwhelmed by the
choices not to mention the etiquette that should be followed. Often, your
best bet in ordering invitations comes from visiting your local stationery
expert. Stationery experts will listen to your thoughts and plans and
help you pull all the pieces together so your guests will receive the
perfect invitation to the event you've spent so much time planning.
Now that you've found someone local who can help you with your invitations
you make plans to stop by the store one afternoon on your lunch hour only
to find ordering invitations is not something you can do in 15 minutes.
Even with your stationery expert guiding you through multiple invitation
albums and writing your order, you can plan on spending a good 2 hours
at the store.
Tips on Ordering Your Invitations
Bring all the necessary information. This includes the name & address
of the ceremony site, reception site, any artwork you need for a map.
Know how many invitations to order. Remember when counting this number
to only count the number of invitations, not the number of guests.
Make your stop all inclusive. Your stationery store provides a lot more
than invitations. Look over your "to do" list, as you will be
able to cross off many of these items. Some of these include: thank you
cards, informals, programs, napkins, table favors, reception decorations,
albums, pens, glasses, garters, flower girl baskets, ring bearer pillows,
unity candles, gifts for your wedding party, etc.
Have fun! This is the most important step. Plan on making an event out
of it. Bring your mom, maid of honor or maybe even your fiancee. Your
wedding is a time of joy and should not be rushed or stressful.
Which ever style of wedding invitations you choose, be sure to let your
local invitation expert assist you with every step of the process. After
all, your wedding is the most important event, so don't just flip through
impersonal catalogs and web sites when there is a wonderful person in
your town waiting to offer you years of experience.
Iinvitation Etiquette
Etiquette and tradition play an important role in preparing wedding invitations.
Narrowing the guest list and assembling current addresses is just the
beginning.
Invitations should be selected as soon as the date is set and the guest
list is completed. Usually couples select them at least three to six months
in advance to allow plenty of time for ordering, proofreading the text
and addressing the invitations or hiring a calligrapher. Invitations should
be mailed no later than four to six weeks before the wedding and up to
eight weeks ahead for summer or holiday weddings, due to busy schedules.
The items you order for your invitation set should include the invitation
itself, as well as several enclosures. The invitation announces the wedding
couple and their sponsors. Of course, it also lets your guests know the
date, time and location of the ceremony.
Enclosures are the small cards included with the invitation. They provide
more detailed information than is available on the invitation itself.
In addition to reception and response cards, you may have other types
of enclosures such as pew cards, maps or "within the ribbons"
cards. "Within the ribbons" or pew cards are primarily used
for very formal weddings only. Pew cards are included in the invitation
of guests of distinction, such as close family members and special friends.
These guests present their cards upon arrival at the ceremony to receive
their "within the ribbons" front row seating.
Map cards should be included for all the out-of-town guests who may have
trouble finding the ceremony or reception site.
Invitations normally come with two envelopes, an inner and an outer.
However, the more contemporary, square sizes usually only come with single
outer envelopes. The outer envelope serves as the mailing vehicle, while
the inner envelope protects the invitation. For added elegance, the inner
envelopes may be enhanced with colored linings. Most inner envelopes won't
have a gummed flap.
When writing your invitations, here are some key points to remember.
Traditional British spelling is often used for words such as "honour
and favour." Each line of the address should be centered for a balanced
look. Courtesy titles such as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. are always used. The
title Ms. should be reserved exclusively for business correspondence and
should not be used on a wedding invitations. Military titles are handled
by rank. Always spell out full names, (not nicknames or abbreviations)
and dates, times and addresses are also spelled out.
Depending upon the number of enclosures, the size and weight of your
invitations, extra postage may be required. It's a good idea to take one
of your invitation ensembles (pre-stuffed) to the post office, so it can
be weighed for the exact postage.
Here are a few additional pointers. It's customary to send an invitation
to your minister, priest, or rabbi and their spouse. All children over
the age of eighteen should receive their own separate invitation. Plan
to order an additional 25 invitations to allow for the unexpected.
If your wedding is very small or private, you may want to send announcements
to those friends and relatives you were unable to invite to the ceremony.
Typically, announcements are sent immediately following the wedding and
include the time and location of the ceremony. An "at home card"
may accompany the announcement to inform friends and family of your new
address and phone number.
Finally, you'll probably need a final guest count two weeks prior to
the ceremony, so you can notify your caterer. Some people put a number
on the back of each response card, to correspond with the guest name on
their master list. That way if the guest forgets to put their name on
the response card, you can match up the name with the number on the list.
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